Capsule Wardrobe Recap and Irreplaceable Items

January 12, 2021 by Kristin Purcell in Clothes, Capsule Wardrobe

While my pajama and gym capsules haven’t really changed much recently (I just replaced a few items), my OOTH wardrobe has been whittled down a bit. I’m down to five T-shirts, which is a bit shocking for me, but I try to remind myself that I have lot of other tops to wear. Two silky camis, two ponte-knit swing tops, and four silky blouses are just gathering dust. Add to that a mind-boggling 11 sweaters, and it’s clear I have plenty of options.

When I completed the Wardrobe Overhaul recently, I ended up with 54 items in total, and then soon after, a 55th item (some men’s black pants) rounded it off. Those pants are already gone, along with 4 other pairs of pants, as well as my corduroy shirt and white flouncy top. Five T-shirts were re-allocated to pajamas, and that’s put me down to 43 items for out-of-the-house.

As I said, I have plenty of tops and sweaters, but only two pairs of wide leg pants, two pairs of joggers, and two pairs of shorts. The weird thing is, I also have three skirts. What, you may ask, am I doing with all these silky blouses and skirts? I guess the same thing I’m doing with five pairs of heels. Not much. On the rare occasion that I do actually dress up, I tend to wear flat shoes, pants, and just one of the silky tops.

I could clearly cut back, but it just isn’t that simple. Two of these blouses are identical—long-sleeve blouson styles—one in black and one in navy. They’re old finds from a trip to Portland, OR, when I was killing time at a Nordstrom Rack, and they are absolutely irreplaceable. They are extremely flattering on me, simple and elegant, and they never look dated. I’ve never seen anything like them, except for other tops from the same brand, Vince Camuto. But even those that I’ve spotted just aren’t as good. The way the fabric on these drapes and crosses over in front perfectly covers my pudgy belly, and the long balloon sleeves end in delicate, single-button cuffs. They are clearly too big at this point in my weight-loss “journey,” but I will never declutter them.

This reminds me of a dress I had about ten years ago that was from LOFT. It was a simple, black, jersey dress with a blouson-style silhouette. It looked amazing on me—like better than anything else, ever. Blouson tops and dresses rest on the hips (not the waist), which are my thinnest part. I know people say wrap dresses are universally flattering because they bring attention to your smallest part—your upper waist—but they are wrong. I simply look pregnant in those dresses. Blouson dresses are far better for my “apple” shape, and there is no denying it.

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But they are few and far between. I remember searching endlessly for a blouson top or dress to wear for my wedding, but to no avail. I ended up having a blouson top custom-made, and wore it with a long, antique slip-skirt. There was just nothing out there in the right style, and certainly not in plus-size.

Anyway, I regret getting rid of that black blouson dress because I’ve never seen anything quite like it again. When I decluttered it, I thought, “there’ll be other dresses out there.” But there aren’t. It’s difficult to find anything described as “blouson,” and even harder to try and figure out what else to call this style.

But I was scrolling on Thredup the other day when I discovered something about their filter for “dress style.” One of the options was “drop-waist,” and apparently that is how they categorize any blouson dresses that come their way. Now some of these are just drop-waist, like a child’s dress would be, and even more of them are a blouson style where the fitted part sits at the waist. But as I scrolled though all 2,700 drop-waist dresses, I could see that there were a select few where the fitted “waistband” would sit on the hips instead.

I obsessively started marking each one with a heart, deliberating over each one and analyzing them for red flags. I’ve often been burned by a dress that looks like the waist would reach my hips, but then doesn’t fall quite low enough.

You may recall from other blogs of mine that I decided that I hate dresses, and for the most part, I still do. But if I found a blouson style that fit me correctly, I’d change my mind immediately. A blouson dress wouldn’t make me look pregnant, and wouldn’t make me look like a tomato on a stick—another frequent occurrence when I try on dresses. It would be “slimming” and “flattering”—those qualities I’m always looking for in clothing no matter how many feminist ideals I subscribe to. I don’t want to wear ruffles or bows because it seems infantilizing, and I always feel more empowered in pants and boots rather than a skirt. But this endless search for clothes that make me look thinner than I am draws on deep waters. This is something ingrained in me from a young age, from when I first read about apple and pear shapes in Teen Magazine. So I’m hanging onto these drapey, blouson-style blouses for good.

I’m feeling a similar sort of “scarcity mentality” when it comes to my wide-leg pants. Even as wide-leg pants have come back in style quite recently, I hang onto the memory of buying these pareicular pants. I ordered them a few years ago from the J. Crew website; they were on sale and they were being discontinued. Cropped, wide leg culottes were everywhere, but true, long, wide-leg trousers just weren’t a thing. So while they may be here for now— I see them on Instagram all the time—I just don’t trust that they’ll stick around forever.

And these two pairs of wide-leg pants are irreplaceable. They are a heavyweight cotton chino that are extremely wide and have a high rise. They look like something I’ve seen only in Japanese Pinterest photos posted by young design students. So even though they’re starting to slide down, and even though I can take them on and off without unbuttoning or unzipping them, I have no intention of getting rid of them.

I guess I do have a bit of a hoarding tendency when it comes to clothes, despite my minimalist intentions. Even if there comes a time when I need new clothes in new sizes, I have a feeling I’ll simply store these away—just in case. That’s not usually a phrase you find me saying— I love getting rid of stuff even more than buying it. But somehow this is different. I can’t make my own clothes (believe me, I’ve tried), and the turning tides of fashion just can’t be predicted. So I’ll continue buying multiples of those perfect things I find— those utterly random valuables that can come from anywhere, from Old Navy to Vince to designer secondhand sites. You never know when one of those irreplaceable items will show itself, so when you find one, hang on tight.

Giant Baby Dresses and Shackets

December 18, 2020 by Kristin Purcell in Clothes, Capsule Wardrobe

I’m decluttering a few more things, this time from my OOTH wardrobe (can I make this OOTH thing stick?).

There are officially 5 pairs of pants that are too big.

1. Elastic-waist linen-blend pants that were my go-to every summer and that I’ve hung onto since my top weight of 224.

2. Men’s black pants that I never even got to wear, since I bought them right before COVID.

3. Levi’s 501s which finally fit me the way I always wanted them to, but then I realized I hate them.

4. Men’s grey pants that have been too big for some time.

5. Black skinny jeans that came out of storage and have been in my closet until I remembered that I hate skinny jeans.

The other two items on the chopping block are my green corduroy shirt, which is way too big, and a white see-through high-low hem tunic, which makes me look like a giant baby.

The thing I find funny about this is that these two items are actually in style for probably the first time ever. I can’t tell you how many bloggers are talking about the latest trend of the “shacket,” or shirt-jacket. Suddenly my habit of throwing a heavy button-down over my sweaters or T-shirts has somehow crossed over into trending fashion. Maybe all those trips to Rhode Island coffee shops last winter put this concept on the map. Maybe these people spotted photos of me in a similar green corduroy shirt that I often wore in college.

Probably not. I’m probably just getting to that age where things I wore in my formative years have come full circle and now the kids are wearing them. The nineties are suddenly cool again and Gen Zers are wearing Nirvana T-shirts without any idea what Teen Spirit smells like (for you younger folks, it was actually a deodorant brand marketed to teen girls). But I digress.

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The point is, these “shackets” that are making a comeback look suspiciously like those “grunge-style” flannels we’d wear over band tees in 1996. And these giant baby dresses look suspiciously like 90s “babydoll” dresses that I used to buy in those incense-filled “hippie” stores at the mall. I always gravitated to those babydoll styles because they strategically concealed my pudgy belly— the belly that never quite goes away no matter how thin I get. And my attraction to that style never really wore off. Hence my owning this white tunic dress-top (drop? tess?). There’s just always been something I’ve always liked about clothes that resemble antique undergarments. That, combined with the “figure-flattering” silhouette of the babydoll dress, sealed the deal. It just became this inherent part of “my style.”

Now this particular white top was purchased a few years ago and the only time I can remember wearing it was to sing at a concert in Boston. Somehow it seemed appropriate for opera. I bought a cheap Walmart slip-top to wear under it, as it was the only tank-style slip I could find that would cover my bra straps and work well with the flowy, organza-like polyester of the top. I’m pretty sure I paired it with my white pencil skirt and must have resembled some sort of pregnant-woman-slash-baby-in-its-christening-gown. I held this thing up a couple weeks ago and thought, “I can’t WEAR this. I’d look ridiculous.” And STILL I hesitated to get rid of it. “It’s just so flattering,” I thought.

I’d previously tried to declutter it the last time my weight was down, hoping upon hope that it would be too big, but alas it looked “good” at almost any weight. It’s only recently dawned on me that I’m allowed to just not like something, that I’m allowed to—gasp—change my mind about an item of clothing. I did realize this once before, when a few years ago I freely admitted that I hated all of my dresses. as well as anything with ruffles or a puff-sleeve. And somehow, AFTER that epiphany, I bought this white top.

And then, this past summer, we were inundated with a new take on the babydoll dress. I saw them described as “oversized smock dresses” on all the fast-fashion sites. I remember how this trend first cropped up: Jodie Comer, AKA Villanelle, wore an enormous pink chiffon babydoll dress on an episode of Killing Eve.

The thing I found most interesting about this, aside from a comically feminine and infantile dress being worn by a psychopathic assassin, was that the bodice wasn’t fitted. That, too, was oversized. And this significant detail is reflected in all the fast-fashion (and designer) incarnations of that dress.

Upon seeing these dresses on YouTube and Instagram (first on Karen BritChick and then on Brittany Bathgate), I was enthralled. The infinitely “flattering” oversized fit, the Victorian puffed sleeves, the tiered skirts— this was an exaggerated version of everything I’d ever longed for in a dress.

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Then I remembered: no dresses, no ruffles, no puff sleeves. These things are infantilizing, and therefore not right for any woman who wants to be taken seriously. So I blocked them out and didn’t even consider partaking in this trend. I thought I was immune.

And then I came across this H&M trapeze dress.

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I swooned. It was infinitely flattering— flowing fabric through the body with a delicately ruffled neckline accentuating the collar bones. I wanted it. I wanted it bad. It was only $24.99. And it came in black- a color a giant baby would never wear. I showed it to Matt. “I thought you didn’t like ruffles.” “Right,” I said, “but this is different.” “I thought you didn’t like dresses.” “Right,” I said, “but this is more like a muu-muu or caftan, and plenty of feminists wear those.”

Why was I trying so hard to rationalize this purchase? And why am I so prone to making the same fashion mistakes over and over again in spite of myself? I remembered the last time I owned long, flowy dresses. Matt and I were about to go to Miami for a 6-month stretch for Matt’s work, and I found this outlandish coral-colored maxi tent-dress at Daffy’s (kind of like a high-end T.J. Maxx that no longer exists.). I snapped it up. Tent dresses were hard to come by back then.

Then I started researching maxi tent dresses and came upon the plus-size brand Woman Within. They had many hideous options, but I managed to track down a black, silky one and a brown, gauzy number. And I tried to wear those dresses. I really tried. But any time I wore one out in public, I felt like people were staring at me, and that was never my goal. I also became fixated on how fat my head and arms—the only parts of my body on display— looked in them.

So those dresses went the way of all my dresses— they were donated. But here we are again. I can’t seem to shake this need for giant baby dresses. And now that everyone else is wearing them, I want to join in and actually be on trend instead of being asked if I’m pregnant. But I’m holding out for now.

Quarantine Declutter and Questionable Gym Clothes

December 10, 2020 by Kristin Purcell in Clothes, Capsule Wardrobe

Well, it seems it’s time to declutter already. Having gone through the Wardrobe Overhaul only a few months ago, I didn’t see this coming. But staying in the house all the time means my pajamas are taking a beating.

Three of my pajama tees were admittedly old and stretched out, but I kept on wearing them until the holes got utterly ridiculous. Every time I washed them I’d think, “Well, I’ll wear it just one more time.” And it went on that way for far too long. I’ve finally drawn a line in the sand. Here are the shirts, as well as some crime scene photos of the damage.

Then there was the black T-shirt I’d demoted from OOTH (out of the house) clothes to pajamas. It seemed a little too big at the time so I downgraded it. And then I was doing a load of white towels with bleach and I somehow got bleach on said shirt. It’s always a mystery to me how this happens- I’m so careful pouring it in, but then maybe somehow as I’m changing the load to the dryer I inevitably end up with bleach on my clothes. I’ve finally resorted to stripping down completely naked when washing whites. Anyhoo, the bleach not only stained this black T-shirt pink in spots, but it also actually burned a hole right through the fabric, rendering it too far gone, even as a pajama shirt.

My remaining 4 pajama tees are all white and do have these annoying little holes where the pocket meets the shirt, but I’m still wearing them anyway. I justify this by thinking, “Well, no one sees me anyway,” and pointing out those rising numbers of COVID cases once again (why people think the whole pandemic thing is over is beyond me).

But even with the 4 white pocket tees, I still needed a few more to get through the week between laundry sessions. Rather than buying new T-shirts (I still don’t know where my weight will settle), I decided it would make more sense to downgrade some of my OOTH tees (I’m trying to make this anagram a thing- OOTH for “out of the house”). For some reason I was paralyzed by these decisions: Which ones? How many? I’d bought these two white ones to replace those other 2 white ones, but those are still good and actually fit better. I’d downgraded one of the black ones and bleached it already- doesn’t that mean the second black one has to be downgraded, too? These are questions any normal person wouldn’t even bother asking, and yet I found myself flabbergasted.

I tried on all the T-shirts for Matt: yes, those have a nice neckline and sleeve and are newer, but those old ones seem to fit better. Maybe just downgrade 2 of them? The 2 blue ones or the 2 white ones? Or one of each? “Kristin! No one cares!” I’d scream at myself. “It doesn’t matter!” But this made it all somewhat harder. I mean, how do I decide when it doesn’t even matter?

I finally settled on moving all 4 ballet-neck tees (2 white and 2 blue) to the pajama drawer. They’re a major improvement on the ones that had holes in them, and they’re nice and oversized. I subsequently threw one in the dryer and freaked out when it shrunk a tiny bit, but I’ve recovered.

Throughout this major transition, I felt the need to reassure myself that there are, in fact, other T-shirts out there. I checked Old Navy and there were several options. I always go for the slub-knit, loose-fit, scoop or crew neck ones, and they still make plenty, some even in normal colors.

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LOFT was disappointing in the T-shirt department, as they seem to have discontinued their production of “Vintage Soft” tees- the ones I love. But J. Crew has an interesting option, and I got an online ad for Pact tees, which have a slub knit and a wide neckline (and are sustainably made).

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Aside from T-shirts, I have also had to address the issue of leggings. My Calvin Klein cotton ones are just too big and have to go.

So I decided to go straight to the Danskin website and seek out a pair like the other Danskins that I own and love. I checked the fabric composition of mine and couldn’t find an exact match on the site, but came up with something close. They looked right, aside from a logo on the back, so I hoped for the best and shelled out $40 plus $5.99 for shipping.

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Well, they were not the right ones and had to be returned. They were thin and shiny, nothing like the heavy, matte pairs I already have. I’m sure this has something to do with the fact that mine came from Marshalls, and we all know that the stuff from Marshalls and T.J. Maxx is never the same as the real deal. I had this same experience in the past with Calvin Klein jeans and Adidas sneakers, and I just should have known.

I ordered a secondhand pair from Thredup (when I got my handbag) that have the right fabric content and no logo on the back, so here’s hoping they will be better. I got a size Medium, which seems crazy to me, but we are where we are. I have a Large and an Extra Large and they’re both getting kind of loose. With my discount, they were $9.75.

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I only wear leggings to run in, so on weight-lifting days I’ve been wearing some experimental outfits. First, there’s a pair of turquoise shorts that I gave to Matt about 10 years ago and he’s only recently given back (they’ve been too small for me until now). They’re pretty silly-looking, but have come in really handy to get me through the week. I’m not sure I actually want to admit that they’re a part of my wardrobe, so we’ll just keep them between us.

My other avant-garde workout number involves a full body sweater that I used to wear for dance or yoga. It very nearly falls into the category of “I look like a giant baby,” but I’ve given it a pass. It’s all black and gives me the sense that at any minute I might launch into some gymnastics moves I saw on YouTube.

The major development, though, has been that I’ve actually started wearing sports bras to lift weights in. I wear the four larger-sized ones, which less-closely resemble tourniquets than the 4 smaller ones I wear on the treadmill. This means I have 8 sports bras at the moment. The smaller ones were set aside after coming out of storage but are now, dare I say, active.

I also started wearing the cotton pajama shorts from storage but had an incident with one pair where the drawstring broke. I plan on repairing it, but that has yet to happen.

I haven’t been wearing T-shirts to work out in because remember—I don’t see anyone anyway—and the sports bras seem sufficient. As it’s grown colder, I have pulled out my Under Armour base-layer top with the little thumb-holes in the sleeves.

In any case, workouts are still going strong despite my deep loathing for exercise. It’s really the only thing I can count on accomplishing at this point, so it’s the only thing I get dressed for. We still have a long way to go before I get to wear OOTH clothes.

Wardrobe Overhaul Part 4: TMI (Socks and Underwear)

July 03, 2020 by Kristin Purcell in Capsule Wardrobe, Clothes, Minimalism

Here are my socks, all 28 pairs. They all have special purposes which I won’t bore you with, but there they are. I actually made a little more room after decluttering 9 pairs in my recent clearout.

I’d bought 6 pairs of thin crew socks before our last trip to Germany, but during my recent clearout I got rid of 3 of them. Then I came across an old pile of discarded socks. I liked some of those better than the newer ones, so I traded them out for the remaining 3. These are the ones I’m keeping. Riveting, I know.

Here are my 2 pairs of tights, which finally fit. The black ones are Old Navy and the purpley ones are American Apparel. Those ones have lasted me many years- I definitely recommend them.

These 3 bras came out of storage. I’m not thrilled with them, but I don’t really need them during the pandemic, so they’ll do for now. The first 2 are Maidenform, and they shift around awkwardly on me now. The black one is better. It’s a Marshalls/T.J.Maxx special. I think they’ve had these bras for about 20 years, and they cost about $7. I absolutely love them- René Rofé is the rather sleazy brand. But this one style they used to make is the best. This is the most similar thing I can find.

These are all the new underwear from storage. Mostly my usual Warner’s “No Muffin Top” Hipsters, 12 pairs in microfiber, 3 in a siky material, and 1 in cotton. The last 2 pairs are some high-waisted briefs for wearing under certain clothes that would otherwise show my belly button. I guess I’m just thinking of my white skirt, which I don’t tuck anything into anyway. So I don’t know why I’m keeping them. But they were in the bin and so they’re there for now. That’s 18 pairs.

The following is my smorgasbord of shapewear and slips. First we have a bodysuit that fit me at a larger size, but works fine now, too. All of the other pieces just came out of storage. The second piece is a pair of “slip shorts” for wearing with skirts in summer; they’re a brilliant solution to the “chub rub” issue. They also work well over tights to keep your skirt from riding up in winter. They’re really lightweight and soft, not like shapewear. I think they’re Jockey. Next we have a pair of “petti-pants” that are like a slip version of culottes. I have no use for them, but I find them adorable.

Next is a waist-cincher that I bought to wear under my wedding top and skirt, along with the Bridget Jones-style giant underpants next to them. The long slip was for the wedding outfit, too. I don’t know why I’m keeping these things. I don’t plan on wearing my wedding dress anywhere. It’s stored in an archival box on the top shelf of my closet for safekeeping. But again, they were in the bin and so they’re there for now.

Finally, we have my robes. The kimono style one on the left is something I stole from my husband (it was a gift from his parents some years ago). The white one is just a Lands’ End terrycloth bathrobe.

This isn’t exactly a minimalist collection of socks and underwear, so the minimalist police are definitely going to come for me. I may lose my membership. But I’m just taking my time with all this new stuff from storage, throwing it at the wall and seeing what sticks. If I start to feel like it’s too much, I can cut back then.

Wardrobe Overhaul Part 1: Closet Declutter

Wardrobe Overhaul Part 2: The Bin of Smaller Clothes

Wardrobe Overhaul Part 3: Smaller Pajamas and Gym Clothes

June 25, 2020 by Kristin Purcell in Capsule Wardrobe, Clothes, Minimalism

There’s more that came out of the storage bin. Since I got rid of every T-shirt and tank top I owned, I needed to replace them with something. Luckily, there were options in the bin.

These 7 identical T-shirts are from Saks Off Fifth- the “down brand” of Saks Fifth Avenue. The quality isn’t great (there are holes where the pockets attach in half of them), but I love the boxy fit and wide neckline. The navy camisole is from the LOFT outlet, and it is the exact same cut as my silky camisoles, but in jersey. The black and white tanks are Old Navy. Finally there are two long-sleeve Cuddl Duds shirts that are super soft but kind of tight. We’ll see if they become good layering pieces in winter.

There’s also this. It’s a flannel nightgown I’ve been in denial about owning. It’s really warm in winter.

Then there are the new pajama pants I recently bought from GAP. I like the black ones on the left better than the charcoal grey. They have a wider waistband and different pockets, and I think they’re actually longer in the leg. Both are really lightweight and made of silky-soft modal.

Finally, there are the items left over from my last pajama capsule. The first three pairs of shorts are the same, made of a soft jersey. The navy shorts are a cut-off pair of men’s jersey athletic pants in a very large size. The hoodie is lightweight and stretchy- perfect for sleeping. The grey-striped GAP pajama pants are similar to the new ones- lightweight modal. The pink pajama pants are heavier, but still soft and stretchy. And those slippers are falling apart. They’re really gross but I still wear them.

That comes to a total of 23 items for pajamas.

On to gym clothes. The only two workout items to come out of storage are a pair of Danskin leggings and this body sweater I used to wear to dance class or yoga- both things I no longer do. But alas, I keep it.

Here are the new running shoes I got a couple months back. I love that they’re a neutral color. They’re just the updated version of my old New Balance running shoes- 860 I think?

These items will be added to the remaining gym capsule shown below.

I have 4 sports bras; 2 fit tighter than the others and so I wear them for running. The other 2 are for what, I’m not sure. Sometimes I’ll throw one on for weight lifting days, on the rare occasion I bother to wear a bra. They’re all from Old Navy of all places. They were literally the best ones I could find for high impact exercise that also didn’t cut in under the arms. I even tried Athleta sports bras on, and only managed to injure myself in the dressing room. Old Navy won out.

My fleece is my go-to layer, essential if I’m going braless at the gym. But now that we work out at home it’s more for running in my cold, cold office/treadmill room, which has no heat. The Under Armour hoodie and base layer top are for cold weather running, and the leggings are for running in general. The blue ones are Danskin and really good quality- the same as the smaller black ones that just came out of storage. The cropped ones are Calvin Klein Performance and not as good.

This gives me only 12 items of gym wear. Keep in mind that the pajama tops will double as gym tops.

There are also a handful of items which will stay in storage for now because they are too small: If my weight continues to go down, I’ll swap out my size XL sports bras for these identical ones in size L. These woven cotton pajama shorts got a little small in the dryer, but I’m keeping them in case they become feasible this summer.

This concludes the overview of my new, smaller pjs and gym stuff. It feels funny to wear things that actually fit me instead of the T-shirts I was drowning in. But I’ve gotten used to it over the past few weeks, and it is more comfortable.

Wardrobe Overhaul Part 1: Closet Declutter

Wardrobe Overhaul Part 2: The Bin of Smaller Clothes

June 17, 2020 by Kristin Purcell in Capsule Wardrobe, Clothes, Minimalism

After the Wardrobe Overhaul Part 1: Closet Declutter, I opened the bin of smaller clothes and sorted through it. I decided to keep or store all but 4 items, so even after the clearout I am left with 54 items in my current wardrobe, up from 29 in my last Capsule Wardrobe Update. Here are the new additions:

First, of course, are T-shirts. I got rid of a lot of T-shirts, but luckily there were a lot in storage to replenish my supplies. The first six are from LOFT; the blue and white ones are a ballet-neck style, while the grey and green have a banded hem and sleeve. The black tees are Old Navy, and the last two white ones are Cynthia Rowley Woman. All of the white T-shirts are fairly see-through, so I’m not sure how I’ll manage that. I guess they’re fine with a nude bra underneath, and for much of the year I layer sweaters over them anyway. I might have to double them up to wear this summer, though.

Then there are a few casual tops that are not T-shirts. The camisole on the left is an Ebay auction win (it’s hard to believe anyone else was coveting this scrap of a thing). I used a sniper trick to bet my highest bid just before time ran out and snagged it for $13 and change. I used to have this exact top in brown that I’d bought at Old Navy when I lived in New York. It was somehow perfectly flattering and indispensable in the summer months, but I got rid of it when it got too small. I was thrilled to come across it years later on Ebay in my size.

This dress is something I refer to as “the Paris dress” because I got it on our first trip to Paris. It’s beautifully made in a lovely cotton fabric. Returning to the small boutique years later, I was disappointed to find it had changed hands and internet searches for the label, Bella Blue, didn’t come up with anything quite like it.

These two ponte-knit swing-style tops were on sale at GAP and they are quite possibly The Most Flattering Thing Ever on my body. I only bought one at first, but then searched online to find a second color in my size. Not available for online order, I had to settle for one at a store within a radius of 25 miles. Mission accomplished.

Next are the dressy things. The navy blouse on the left has a cool tulip cross-over back hem and I of course love the swing shape. This long, white, sheer tunic is something that I keep going to get rid of but then I put it on and it just looks great, at a variety of sizes.

These two identical long-sleeve blouses are a gorgeous silky material and are by Vince Camuto, who does a great criss-cross hem type thing. I got them at a Nordstrom Rack in Portland, Oregon while Matt was working at the opera company there. They’re my go-to for any opening night when it’s not sweltering.

Finally, we have my wedding kimono, an ASOS Curve find that I wore over my white top and skirt at our formal wedding party (we were already married a year and a half earlier at City Hall).

On to sweaters and jackets. The cashmere sweater on the left is by Vince, a super pricey brand that does amazing sweaters (my grey long sleeve cashmere sweater is also Vince). This short-sleeve asymmetrical blouson top is wonderfully oversized and was found with its heather-grey twin for $5.99 at Salvation Army. I snagged them both and had at them with the cashmere comb. I sold the grey one on Ebay but had to keep the black for myself.

The white sweater is just a great, lightweight summer cardigan. The cashmere sweater in camel in the center is by J. Crew Collection and I got it on Thredup with a 40% discount code to boot. They go for almost $300 on the J. Crew website but I got mine for around $24, in perfect condition. The wide blush cotton sweater is another great throw-on piece for spring and summer. The cropped swing rain jacket is by Norma Kamali (probably via her Walmart line) and I got it at a Savers a few years ago.

Pants and skirts: The black skinny jeans are super stretchy, more like jeggings, and for some reason when skinny jeans are black I don’t hate them. The blue and white wide-leg pants are J. Crew, bought on sale. I love how truly wide they are, and they are my favorites. The two identical pairs of black joggers are T.J. Maxx finds, the first pair before a trip to Germany, and the second pair 2 months later when we got back (on one of those magical Marshalls/T.J. Maxx quests I go on with my mom).

The black pencil skirt is a heavy stretch knit and I love that it doesn’t have a back slit (that back vent always makes me feel like I’m flashing someone). The green linen-y skirt is J. Crew, but found at Salvation Army on dollar day. I miss dollar day. Maybe they’ll bring it back now that we’re in a major recession.

Belts. (These aren’t included in my number of items since they’re accessories.). The skinny braided belt is from Old Navy, the medium-width GAP black leather one was a Savers find, and the studded, embellished “cowboy” belt was a Savers find back in my high school days. I still love it.

The following items are staying in storage for now. They don’t fit at the moment; they’re either too small or just fit differently than they used to. I’m going to wait and see if that changes. The first two tops are my beloved silky camisoles from LOFT. The feather-print tank in the middle is Joie and 100% silk (another Ebay find). The shorts are Old Navy, yet are somehow different from the almost identical shorts they make now and are therefore irreplaceable.

These are the items from the bin I got rid of. Skinny jeans, my nemesis. And yoga pants, which just look outdated next to leggings.

Now these are the remaining items from my previous wardrobe that I’m hanging onto. Outerwear is staying for now because I don’t know what exact size I’ll be come Fall/Winter and I don’t really mind my coats being too big. That green shirt is way too big, but I still feel inclined to keep it. I like the color.

My oversized hoodie, of course I’m keeping, especially since succesfully repairing the hole in the cuff. Some of these sweaters fit quite well and the ones that are big look just fine anyway. My big square-shaped blouse may not be my first choice now that I have other options, but it could be good for dressing up in the heat.

The white skirt is still skating by for now, as are the way-too-big linen-blend pants. The jeans actually fit me better now more than ever, and those size 38 grey pants are still hanging on even without a suitable belt. I guess the cowboy belt could step in if need be.

There it is. All 54 items. Not really minimalist anymore, is it? I imagine I’ll refine my wardrobe over time, and might have to get rid of things if they get way too big. But at this point it feels like a lot. I don’t know when I’d have the time or occasion to wear so many things. But I love each item- they were carefully chosen- and I think I’ll just take my time with it.

Wardrobe Overhaul Part 3: Smaller Pajamas and Gym Clothes

Wardrobe Overhaul Part 1: Closet Declutter

June 06, 2020 by Kristin Purcell in Clothes, Capsule Wardrobe, Minimalism

The Sizeable Discard Pile consisted of 39 items (plus socks and underwear) that I had cycled through during the first 8 months of weight loss. I was supposed to send the lot to Thredup in the 3 giant bags they’d sent me. That never happened. I guess I was waiting until I used the clothes to make a “closet declutter” video for YouTube.

I made the video, but I hated it. It just wasn’t me. I was wearing makeup and acting like losing weight was the secret to happiness. I was trying to imitate the YouTube videos I had seen so frequently- the clean, white interior with the requisite plant in the corner, the cheerful demeanor, the cutaways to me modeling the clothes. Ultimately, I was embarrassed by it. The thought of anyone I knew seeing it appalled me. So I scrapped it and waited until I could start over.

Months went by. Tumbleweed rolled through my office where I had stashed the stuff. Sometimes I was tempted to just say “fuck it” and send it all away in the mail. But I still held onto this idea that I’d make a video, and so I held onto the clothes, too.

Well, I finally did it: I made a video. I sent off the Thredup bags (plus an extra box). I included the results of this most recent clearout as well, which I documented over the course of a week. Hopefully I’ll feel better about this video and will actually let you see it.

After The Sizeable Discard Pile back in August of 2019, I reneged on the tan Supergas, but everything else stayed in the pile.

Since then, I’ve parted with a few pairs of pants: the size 38 Levi’s, the size 40 Levi’s, the size 40 grey men’s pants, and the size 12 skinny jeans.

I also stopped wearing these two bras which got too big, replacing them with just one bra before our trip to Germany. And then of course there were the bedraggled pink Everlane tees that I loathed.

But once I opened up the storage bin of smaller clothes last week, I realized it was time for a major clearout and overhaul. I started by decluttering the pajamas I’ve been wearing since I was 224 pounds. First are the 8 Old Navy XXL gym and sleep tees in grey and blue, as well as 4 sleep tanks in the same size:

Then there was a grey LOFT sleep hoodie I wasn’t crazy about, some taupe pajama pants that were too big, and two pairs of navy Ralph Lauren pajama pants that I just plain wore out this year:

There were gym clothes to be decluttered. Both of my Under Armour leggings, the “cold gear” and the “heat gear” seemed to slide down when I ran, so those unfortunately had to go. The same was true for my RBX joggers that I used to wear as an outer layer for cold weather running. And I finally conceded that my black sweatpants were too short and too worn out to hang onto.

There was also an Old Navy sweatshirt with three-quarter sleeves that I never really figured out the point of; I think I just got it on sale for less than a dollar and couldn’t resist. And then my running shoes were retired a couple months back and replaced; I’d had them for two and a half years and I was overdue for new ones.

When it comes to everyday clothes, or my capsule wardrobe, the big purge was in the T-shirt department. I got rid of all 6 GAP Factory tees- the 2 black, 2 white, and 2 navy. I finally let go of the size 20 ASOS ones in black and grey. And as much as I wanted to hold onto them, I had to say goodbye to my 3X J. Crew navy blue tees. I really loved them, but they were falling off my shoulders and I couldn’t even stand to sleep in them, so they had to go.

I got rid of 2 pairs of pants: the men’s black dress pants from Ebay that I barely got to wear before they got too big, and my too-big size 14W black skinny jeans which had survived many a wardrobe changeover. Also going are all three belts, including my Dickies men’s leather belt, which was difficult to part with.

Hang in there; it’s almost over. Both my bathing suit and my swimming shorts/top combo had to go (too big).

Six pairs of 3-year-old winter socks were worn out, as well as 3 newer pairs of thin crew socks.

And then there’s this secret pair of brand-new GAP joggers with the tag still on that I’ve never mentioned until now (I had two other identical pairs that I did actually wear).

Lastly, there’s the bra I bought back in October, right before our last trip to Germany, which has since gotten too big.

I’m holding onto a stack of underwear that are a bit too big, just because they were expensive and purchased not too long ago and I can’t bear to toss them in the trash just yet. Two of my four sports bras fit slightly larger, so they’ve gotten too big to wear for running, but again, they were expensive and hard to find, so I need some time before they go.

But otherwise, that covers it. That comes to 41 items out the door, plus my pile of socks. Add to that 4 items from storage I got rid of straight away, and it comes to 45. Add in the 38 items (plus socks and underwear) from The Sizeable Discard Pile, and it comes to 83 items. Add to that the stuff that had been decluttered during the interim (8 items) and you get a whopping 92 pieces of clothing.

The whole process was far more time-consuming and emotional than expected. I mean, I had a relationship with those T-shirts; it was hard to let them go. And what’s with hanging on to the underwear and sports bras that are too big? Is it fear that I’ll gain the weight back and need them? I don’t know; I feel fairly confident about my diet and exercise habits being a permanent institution.

Maybe it’s just the change in body size. Hiding in those oversized clothes made it easier to pretend my body wasn’t really changing in any visible way. I don’t know if I like the idea of wearing clothes that actually fit. Will people see me differently? Will I see myself differently? Will I become vain? Will I stop caring whether clothes come in plus sizes and just obliviously recede into the straight-size blogosphere?

Hopefully the quarantine will give me some time to adjust to my changing body- and my changing wardrobe. I need to allow myself room to figure out just what I feel comfortable wearing and what I don’t. I’m thinking back to my analysis of my smaller clothes and whether they fit in with my more recent style inclinations. Maybe that can serve as a guide to keep me connected to who I really am and how I want to dress going forward.

Wardrobe Overhaul Part 2: The Bin of Smaller Clothes

Wardrobe Overhaul Part 3: Smaller Pajamas and Gym Clothes

Unintentional 90-Day No-Buy and the Latest Number-Crunching

January 28, 2020 by Kristin Purcell in Capsule Wardrobe, Clothes, Minimalism

I’ve been reading a lot online about clothing “no-buy” or “low-buy” challenges lately and my interest has been piqued. If you’re not familiar with the terms, a “no-buy” is when you refrain from buying clothing (or cosmetic items, etc.) for a certain period of time (30 days, 90 days, 1 year). In the case of a “low-buy”, you usually limit yourself to a certain number of items or a certain budget. It seems like a worthwhile endeavor for anyone looking to minimize their spending as well as their carbon footprint.

I thought I’d take a look at my recent purchases to see how I measure up, and whether this type of challenge could be beneficial for me. This is when I realized something surprising: I haven’t purchased any clothing in more than 90 days- it’s been 116 days to be exact. Since my weight has been relatively stable these past few months, I haven’t had to buy anything to accommodate any weight fluctuation. And I guess I just haven’t felt the need to shop retail- or even thrift- for some time.

Aside from factoring in my stabilized weight, there’s also my dipping into storage to consider. Some sweaters, pajamas, workout clothes, and even underwear have been freed from the storage bin and incorporated into my minimal wardrobe. I’m hoping I’ll be able to keep pulling items from storage going forward as my weight continues to change.

This makes me wonder how long I can keep this “no-buy” going. Is it possible that I’ve reached a point where I can stop constantly buying pants? I’m not so sure. I don’t have any men’s pants in smaller sizes, and since they’ve become a staple for me, that’s one gap I’ll probably need to fill in my future wardrobe. But otherwise, I might have enough in storage to make up the rest.

In any case, I thought it would be a good time to do a little “clothing accounting.” The last time I ran the numbers was in Crunching Numbers and Capsule Wardrobe Updates, May 1st, 2019.

Since then, here’s what we’re looking at (it’s currently the end of January, 2020):

Number of clothing items purchased: 26
Number of items returned: 5
Number of items kept: 21
Total spent on clothing after returns: $232.98

Here’s the breakdown:
Socks/bras/underwear purchased: 13
8/7/19 3 pairs underwear (Macy’s) $30
10/4/19 3 pairs underwear (Kohl’s) $30
10/4/19 1 bra (Kohl’s) $27.60 (exchanged for another size on 10/5/19)
10/4/19 3-pack socks (TJ Maxx) $6.99
10/4/19 3-pack socks (TJ Maxx) $5.99
Total spent on socks/bras/underwear: $100.58

Capsule clothing items and shoes purchased: 8
5/27/19 ASOS white tee $14.49
5/27/19 Adidas back-up sneakers (TJ Maxx) $34.99
8/15/19 Size 38 501 Levi’s (thrifted) $11.99
9/13/19 Size 36 501 Levi’s (Ebay) $18.55
9/13/19 Grey flannel men’s pants size 38 (Ebay) $18.15
9/25/19 Size 40 501 Levi’s (Ebay) $16.24
9/25/19 Black men’s dress pants size 38 (Ebay) $14.99
9/25/19 Everlane Pink Air Tee $25+$6 restocking fee-$28 credit=$3.00
Total spent on shoes and capsule clothing: $132.40

Almost half my total spent went towards socks, bras, and underwear. These items were all bought new from department stores since I could not find any suitable ethical/sustainable options in plus sizes and thrifting was ruled out for obvious reasons. Of the remaining 8 clothing items, 5 were thrift/Ebay finds, 1 was from a sustainable/ethical brand, and 2 were standard retail purchases. I’m happy with that result, but I can always aim to do better.

One major issue I had with this round of purchases was the number of failures (3). The ASOS white tee was stiffer and less comfortable than the one it was bought to replace, and so barely got worn. (I couldn’t return it because I’d already washed it.) The size 40 Levi’s never looked right from the start, but it wasn’t worth paying the shipping to return them, so they went into the discard pile. And the infamous Everlane Air Tee fell apart after only 2 wears, so it never really established residency in my wardrobe. This amounts to a waste of $33.73, as well as the resources used to manufacture the T-shirts and the environmental impact of all the shipping involved.

Budget-wise, if I total everything up and divide it by the approximate number of months (9), it comes out to $25.89 per month. This is a vast improvement over my last monthly average of $77 or so a month (for 5 months), but it still sounds like a lot for barely buying clothes. I guess knowing that half of it was for socks and underwear, it does make more sense. It seems like these categories are an unfortunate necessity, especially considering the limited plus-size options in ethical/sustainable brands. I’d love to be able to buy these high-turnover, non-thriftable items from Organic Basics, but they have yet to offer larger sizes. And my faith in Everlane as an option has waned. I’m clearly not convinced their clothes are of good quality. So it seems like Ebay, thrift stores, and those necessary evils- the department stores- are still my best bets.

Capsule Wardrobe Update, and Back to Dieting

January 21, 2020 by Kristin Purcell in Clothes, Capsule Wardrobe, Food

It’s been quite a while since I did a thorough capsule wardrobe update and there have been a number of changes to my wardrobe since then. This is despite my weight being relatively stable (my weigh-in this week told me I’m down to exactly 170lbs). I had a look at my last capsule post in September and realized there have been a few items pulled from storage, a few new additions, and some blatant rejections.

For one thing, back in September I had pulled a blush cotton sweater from storage, but soon after that post decided it was still too small to wear. I selected a warmer replacement, my pink Cynthia Rowley cashmere pullover. I started wearing it during our Germany trip and continue to reach for it now.

Speaking of pink, there was the purchase and sudden demise of an Everlane Air Tee, barely a blip on the capsule radar.

I toyed with wearing some old blue skinny jeans while in Germany, but apparently what happens in Germany stays in Germany. I decided for the millionth time that I just feel too “girly” in skinny jeans and really don’t like how they look on me. They also slide down a lot since they’re stretchy and tend to bag out after about 20 minutes of wearing them. Since I can’t be bothered to wear a belt with them, I put them away upon returning home from our trip.

I had quite a trial finding some men’s Levi 501s to replace the size 38-waist ones I thrifted and was wearing in September. They were getting too big, so I bought some 36s on Ebay, only to discover that those were way too tight. I ran the numbers and realized the 38s actually measured 40 in the waist, so I should have been looking for more 38s. I found a third pair on Ebay that the seller said measured 38 in the waist even though the tag said 40, so I went with those. Well, they fit in the waist but otherwise looked way too big, so then those were put aside. I returned to the 36s, creating a button-hack so I could wear them, but soon changed my mind concerning the viability of that project and put them all away. Finally, upon returning from our trip and finding out I’d lost a few pounds, I gave the 36s another go and by god, they fit. So I’m back to one pair of jeans.

After all of the above changes, I was left with the same number of pieces I had back in September: 26. But I did add a pair of black men’s trousers a while back and they’re still going strong (thank you, Ebay). I pulled my heavy winter parka out of storage and it finally fits, just in time for the cold. It’s a Cole Haan white knee-length puffer coat that can zip up over my mouth when it’s especially chilly. It’s an XL and fits quite nicely at the moment, although I’m not crazy about the flashy gold zipper and the feminine hourglass shape. Lastly, I clawed back my white Gap Factory T-shirts that are too sheer to wear on their own (I layer them both together). They’re not in the best shape in terms of pilling and greying, but it’s so nice to wear a shirt that’s not black or navy that I find myself wearing it anyway.

So with the addition of these three items into the mix, I’m up to a 29-piece wardrobe for the year.

Now I don’t know how long this will last, since my pants are already threatening to slide down my hips. But I have yet to go foraging for those infamous smaller-clothes-in-storage. With my weight coming in at 170, taking into account the fact that I’m lifting weights now and probably have more muscle mass than when those clothes fit me before, I’m tempted. But knowing how triggering that Pandora’s Box can be, I’m going to give it some time.

I’ve been eating 2,000 calories a day for 6 weeks now and have only lost 1.2 pounds in the process. This makes me think I’m pretty close to “maintenance” of my current weight with what I’m eating and how much I’m working out. I’ve actually been struggling to finish all my calories on some days and end up eating candy bars to top up. It seems that I’ve refined my regular meals to be low in calories yet still satisfying to a fault.

In any case, I’ve decided that rather than try to push my maintenance calories even higher through reverse dieting, I’m going to cut back to 1,700-1,800 and see if I can get some weight loss started again. As much as I want to continue reverse dieting before I cut back, I just can’t take the psychological strain of waiting another six weeks before I lose any more weight. It’s hard enough waiting 5-6 weeks between weigh-ins at my doctor.

I just don’t think I could take the blow of seeing my weight stay the same or- god forbid- go up. So I’m taking the small win of increasing my maintenance calories from 1,800 to 2,000 and will go back to normal dieting- with a twist. After a week at 1,700-1,800, I’ll go back up to 2,000 for a week. Supposedly this will help keep my metabolism up and make those low-calorie weeks really count. Having these “diet breaks” seems like a good idea psychologically, too. I don’t want to start feeling deprived- or hungry- and get off track. I’m aiming to figure this stuff out for the long term, and I’m doing my best not to rush the process.

Why Are My Clothes So Boring?

October 08, 2019 by Kristin Purcell in Clothes, Capsule Wardrobe, Minimalism

It’s not lost on me that my clothes are pretty boring. For a blog called Mood and Clothes, you’d think I’d have more OOTDs or fashion spreads. But if you hadn’t guessed by now, my real passion lies in the simplifying of my wardrobe and the refinement of my personal style.

My favorite blog ever has to be the now-defunct Dead Fleurette. She sought the “perfect” wardrobe, owned a shockingly small collection of pieces, and wrote of her deep consideration over what to buy and what to get rid of. I pored over her every word, every list of clothing items, every collage of possible purchases. I can only find a few archived blogs of hers online now, but Dead Fleurette is truly the inspiration for my own writing about clothes. So in that spirit, I’ve come up with a whole list of reasons for exactly why my clothes are what they are.

1. Minimalism. The fact of the matter is that I love having less. Fewer options mean fewer choices, which means less decision fatigue and less waste. I’d rather have a small, curated collection of items that I actually use than a vast array of things that get little use or attention. I love the efficiency of minimalism, the process of deliberating over choices, and the clarity and beauty of simple things.

2. I’m very picky. I have extremely specific preferences when it comes to clothes. I know what works for me and what doesn’t. I know that I don’t like dresses, blazers, ruffles, or V-necks. I know that I like neutral or muted, subdued colors. I know how I like a T-shirt to fit: wide and open at the neckline, slightly fitted through the bust, and boxy and relaxed through the body. I know these things from years of trial and error. I know I don’t like dresses because I’ve owned probably a hundred in my life and not one has made me feel good. I know I don’t like blazers the way I know I don’t like fuchsia. For whatever reason, on my body, it just never feels right. And after many years of trying, I’ve finally given myself permission to admit it.

3. Uniform Dressing. I don’t like spending a lot of time getting dressed. While I may love shopping and deliberating over cuts and colors, when I wake up and put clothes on, I want it to be simple. I want all my options to be good ones so I don’t have to think too much in the moment about what to wear. This means I tend to gravitate toward uniform dressing, I.e. wearing basically the same thing every day. The formula right now is: men’s pants+boots+T-shirt+sweater or else men’s jeans+sneakers+T-shirt+sweater.

4. No impulse shopping. I no longer buy things on a whim. I used to shop randomly, picking up anything that I simply “liked,” regardless of how it would fit (or not fit) into my wardrobe. I always ended up with a bunch of cocktail dresses, a wool cape, a headband, and a frilly top that made me look like a giant baby. And oh, yeah. Those 2 T-shirts that I actually wear. So now I know what I’m looking for and I stay focused. I’m realistic about what I’ll actually wear and only buy those things. This does mean, however, that I don’t have a colorful closet full of all those fun things I never wear.

5. They don’t have good colors. I always value fit over color. Choosing an item of clothing based on what color it is seems arbitrary and bizarre in my mind. So when I find the perfect fit, the right drape, the best material and construction and style, that’s always what I go for. But the color options are not always great. I like black, navy, and grey (that is apparent from a glance at my wardrobe). But I’m often limited to those colors not by my own choosing, but by the utter lack of acceptable alternatives. I love white, light blue, blush, camel, deep green, and even eggplant. Yet somehow the options are usually yellow, orange, neon pink, or tomato red. There might be a garish teal or chartreuse in the mix, but I just can’t stomach it. (And did you ever notice that those colors are always the ones on sale because they know the good colors are the neutrals? Why don’t they just make more neutrals?)

Conclusion: I don’t mean to be so boring. I really don’t. Just because I’m a minimalist doesn’t mean I don’t like color- I do. The good ones are just hard to find. I’d love to have a wardrobe more like that of A Small Wardrobe. She’s created a 34-item wardrobe that is full of lovely subdued colors: muted gold, mauve, pale pink, oatmeal, white, light blue, stone, deep red, eggplant, jade green, and yes, black, grey, and navy. Why can’t I do the same? Am I not investing enough time? Enough money? Probably both.

Here are a few items I’m obsessing over at the moment, in subtle colors, but colors all the same:

These two T-shirts are from Everlane, and I thought the pale pink hue might add some color I can get on board with. (FYI Everlane, a brand known for its ethical and sustainable practices, now has some slightly larger sizes.) The first one is the Air Oversized Crew Tee and the second one’s the Cotton Box-Cut Pocket Tee. The funny thing is, I apparently once ordered the Pocket Tee (right) in grey and hated it so I sold it on Ebay. So I guess that one’s out. I can’t remember what was so bad about it, but I know the purchase was the result of receiving a $25 promotional credit. I’ve been notified that I have another $25 credit there for “referring a friend” so I could potentially try the Air Tee for free.

This shirt is also from Everlane and is called the Japanese Oxford Square Shirt. They have a blue and white stripe, a light blue, and a bright white. I’m obsessed with the cut of this but am afraid it will be too long and look like a maternity top. The sizing is also a nightmare to try and figure out- some of the reviews say to size down by 2 sizes and some say it’s true to size. I also have no idea what size I am in general, and then I don’t know for how long it would still fit me if I lose weight. It’s also a little pricey at $68, so I’m finding it hard to commit.

And then there’s this white Short Sleeve Swing Tee from Vince that’s on sale for $30. I know the quality would be good- I’ve always had good luck reselling Vince T-shirts on Ebay, so they definitely have longevity. I also love my Vince sweaters. Tempting.

Gym and Pajama Capsule Updates, Accessories, and Packing Plans

September 30, 2019 by Kristin Purcell in Clothes, Capsule Wardrobe, Minimalism

It’s been a while since I laid out what I have for gym clothes, pajamas, and accessories, and since I’m starting to plan my packing for Germany again, I thought I’d take a look. Here’s my 19-item gym capsule:

Okay. So, the top row is my cold weather running outfit: Under Armour base layer top and leggings, water-resistant hoodie, and RBX top layer joggers. Everything’s lined in fleece and works in really cold conditions. I don’t know if I’ll really need this full outfit for Germany since it tends to be milder there, and we’re back home by the beginning of December. But the hoodie and top are good layering pieces and the leggings and joggers are good on their own. Next are my sports bras and T-shirts: I’ll bring 3 bras for alternate running days, and all the T-shirts since I plan on working out 6 days a week. I’ll be doing the pajama top/gym top mash-up where I wear one shirt to bed and then work out in it the next day- there are 4 of each, so 8 total. Then we have my other leggings and pants: The first pair are definitely good for fall weather since they are really long and cover my ankles. The next pair are too cropped, the Under Armour ones are too thin, and the sweatpants are really only for layering in winter. I don’t think I’ll need anything more than 3 pairs: the cold-weather leggings and joggers and the long navy leggings (I tend to re-wear leggings 2 days in a row since I don’t sweat much on alternate weight-lifting days). And then there’s my fleece which is too bulky to pack, so I’ll just stick with the hoodie instead. The 3/4 sleeve sweatshirt is pretty useless and I’m not sure why I own it. And then, the absolute necessity, my running shoes.

Next up, gym accessories: I don’t think I’ll need the top-layer mittens, but I’ll probably need the rest.

And now onto pajamas- 20 pieces in all:

First off, there are my 4 pajama tops- those will be added to the 4 gym tees and worn for both sleep and working out. The tank tops and shorts can stay home, as well as the slippers. I have 2 sleep hoodies; I might bring the black one since it can be chilly in the apartment in Germany. And I think the grey striped pants and the two navy joggers will be sufficient for bottoms, so I’ll leave the pink pants and the taupe wide-leg pants behind.

And the last category I want to address is accessories. I don’t think anything has changed since I last posted about these, but here’s a recap and my thoughts on what to pack.

First we have scarves and winter accessories:

I think the blush Calvin Klein logo scarf (top left) will be the only one I bring on the trip, although I am toying with the idea of bringing a fancy one for opening night. For hats, I think I’ll just go with the pupley-grey wool one (bottom right).

I’ll be bringing the one men’s black belt (top left) and I’m kind of wondering if I will ever wear the other two. Maybe I’d better wait to see what pants I’m wearing before I remove those options. For handbags, the standard navy purse and my backpack will both be packed (and probably brought as carry-ons).

I think that covers it. Packing really makes it clear what my most-worn pieces are, and it makes me think about downsizing and going a little more minimal. But I feel like I have to wait until my weight settles before I get rid of anything- it’s kind of hard to predict what categories will suddenly start dwindling as things stop fitting. Like my pajama tank tops that are way too big in the arm holes, or my belts that only work with certain kinds of pants, at a certain weight, and have smaller counterparts in storage.

It’s much easier to be a minimalist when you stay the same size all the time. No one really talks about this. The other minimalists usually say to get rid of everything that doesn’t fit right now, but that just doesn’t make sense for me. I mean, I’m getting rid of the bigger clothes as my weight goes down and they no longer fit, but I still have all this perfectly good stuff that I know will work in the future.

Or am I just kidding myself? That stuff is from 2 years ago and I might not even like wearing it anymore. My recent try-on sessions have certainly made me start thinking about this. Can you ever really go back to what you wore before?

Capsule Wardrobe Update, Shoes, and Germany Preparations

September 29, 2019 by Kristin Purcell in Clothes, Capsule Wardrobe, Minimalism

I’ve just been taking stock of what I have in my current wardrobe so I can figure out what I need for our next trip to Germany. We’ll be there from October 10th until December 6th, so it should be pretty straightforward fall weather. It doesn’t snow there that much, so I can forgo the snow boots and heavy parkas, but I will need some layers for colder days. I recently added some sweaters from storage for that very purpose. Here’s my 26-item capsule wardrobe:

And that is what my year-round closet is looking like. Yes, I have 4 navy blue T-shirts. Yes, I have 3 black T-shirts. I never said it was pretty; it’s just what I’ve got. But I think I have a good solid base to start with. The oatmeal cotton sweater, linen pants, and white skirt aren’t great for fall, and the jeans are just way too big, so that puts me down to 22 pieces to work with. The black silky square-shaped blouse and skinny black jeans at the bottom are my “dressy” outfit for special occasions. The grey men’s pants were replaced by their smaller (identical) counterparts found on Ebay. But the jeans I ordered didn’t work out, and the joggers in storage were too small, so I’m still looking to round out my pants section, hopefully with a pair of men’s jeans that actually fit.

The “new” sweaters I’m thinking about packing are:

Lightweight, open, light grey cardigan with the brand label cut out
Black, super-soft, boxy pullover with the brand label cut out
Blush, cotton, boxy, H&M pullover
Full-zip, cable-knit, dark grey cardigan with a mock neck from Hinge

That gives me four sweaters to work with, plus the two cashmere sweaters I already had in my capsule. I certainly don’t need 6 sweaters for the trip- I’ll probably go with 4, but which ones I don’t know yet. We’ll see what’s practical as the weather starts to cool off. I just thought I’d take out everything that fit well and could give me more options for layering. For mild or chilly weather, I tend to wear a T-shirt and sweater every day, with a top layer if I need it. I’m thinking of wearing the long raincoat on the plane and bringing the “packable” parka that I can squish into its little bag. I don’t know if I need the tan jacket, green shirt, and hoodie, so I may narrow it down a bit. The thing is, we’re each checking a bag for this trip, so I do have the luxury of a little more room than on our last trip to Berlin.

For shoes, I think I’ll stick with what worked last time and wear the boots on the plane, although getting through security with the boots can be an issue. On our way home from Berlin, we weren’t required to take our shoes off, so the steel shank in my boots set off the metal detector. After an extensive conversation involving 3 security officers and a pat-down, they ran my boots through the scanner and discovered it was in fact the steel shank. I think I garnered a little respect from the officers; Germans do love a well-made shoe.

Anyway, I’ll be packing my Adidas sneakers and my running shoes. That way, if I have 3 pairs of pants- hopefully a new pair of men’s jeans, grey pants, and maybe my black skinny jeans? - that gives me equal wear of both the boots and the sneakers. The boots go with Levi’s or pants; the sneakers go with Levi’s or black skinny jeans.

The tricky part is Matt’s opening night: I can easily pack my silky blouse to dress up a pair of black skinny jeans, but heels would really be the only way to make it look right. I don’t know if I can spare the space for that, so I have thought about other options. One possibility would be to bring these cream wide-leg pants and wear the silky top and my boots:

The pants don’t fit just yet, but by opening night at the end of the trip they might… then again I don’t know if I can handle that kind of pressure. In any case, the pants might take up the same amount of space as the heels anyway, so maybe it’d be easier to just bring the shoes.

There’s always all this fuss for one night where I might not even have to socialize after the show. And then there have been times where I couldn’t even attend opening night, when I wasn’t feeling up to being in public. I really regret not getting to see Matt’s work, but when I can’t, I just can’t. It sucks.

So that’s where I’m at with my capsule and my packing plans. The only major shopping that needs to be done is finding some pants. Ideally, I’d like a new pair of men’s Levi’s and some kind of black men’s dress pants in a suiting material. I’d rather not rely on the black skinny jeans since they tend to make me feel bad about myself. For some reason, the black skinny jeans aren’t as bad as the blue ones, but still, I’d rather have something that makes me feel great. I feel like I keep trying to shortchange myself, saying, “Well, I’m in the home stretch. I almost fit into my old stuff, so why bother getting anything now?” But the reality is, weight loss is slow. Agonizingly slow. I’m at least 3 months away from fitting into my storage clothes, and I need to wear pants. Why torture myself over it?

The Sizeable Discard Pile

August 19, 2019 by Kristin Purcell in Clothes, Minimalism, Food, Capsule Wardrobe

Along my capsule wardrobe/weight loss “journey,” I’ve decided to part ways with a number of items. Most things simply got too big (17 of them to be exact). Some things got worn out (6 items plus socks and underwear). And then there were a bunch of things that just weren’t working for me (16 items). I feel guilty that I’m getting rid of so many clothes. I still have them all in a pile, occasionally pulling something out to see if I’ve changed my mind about it. But most of the things that I’m discarding for aesthetic reasons are too big now anyway. So it is what it is: I’m getting rid of 39 clothing items, 9 pairs of underwear, and a pile of socks. I’m left with 22 items in my capsule wardrobe. This means I’ve cycled through around 61 items of clothing in the past 8 months. This might seem excessive for a minimalist, but I’ve lost 40 pounds and changed up my style a bit, so allowances must be made. 22 items it is now, though I am still questioning my too-big J. Crew T-shirts, white skirt and blue skinny jeans. I just don’t know if I feel comfortable in those more feminine pieces. But if I get to be too much of a perfectionist about it, I’ll be left with nothing to wear.

Back to the sizable pile. My plan was to sell what I could on Ebay and donate the rest, hoping against hope that the donations don’t go directly to the landfill. But looking at the profit margins for selling the stuff on Ebay is pretty grim- with shipping costs constantly increasing, it’s hard to profit at all on lower-end clothing items. This isn’t necessarily a reason not to do it- my main goal is to give the stuff new homes and not have it end up as garbage. But knowing how much work is involved in making good Ebay listings, I don’t feel up to the task and am thinking I’ll give Thredup a try instead. The payouts would probably be close to nothing (less than a dollar in many cases), but at least I don’t have to take all those photos and measurements, then store and ship the stuff when it sells. And I think the stuff that’s not sellable- the stuff I’d be forced to donate- at least has a shot at being recycled. I don’t know for sure what Thredup does with the clothes that don’t sell, but it’s got to be better than going in the trash compactor at Savers.

I just ordered 3 bags from Thredup for “selling” as opposed to straight-up donating. I decided against having the rejects sent back to me for $10.99 per bag. They claim they will “responsibly recycle unaccepted items.” I may not get as much money for my Sorel boots or my Margot handbag, but at least I don’t have to charge $15 for shipping on Ebay. That’s always a deterrent to Ebay shoppers when buying heavy items, especially shoes, which are bulky too. But Thredup has a standard shipping fee of $5.99 which is waived altogether if you buy $79 worth of stuff, so there’s no deterrent to buying heavy items. As far as selling, some items are paid out to you upon receipt, but most are consigned, so you only get paid if and when they sell. In the past, I would sell thrifted high-end and designer items on Thredup and had very good luck with the whole system. The clothes I’m sending in now are nowhere near as expensive as those designer things, so I’m only expecting some dollar-and-change payouts at best. I’m really in it for how easy it is to give your clothes new homes, and in hopes of the “unaccepted items” actually being recycled (my area doesn’t have textile recycling).

I think 3 bags should be enough for everything including shoes- I mean, I’m not putting my socks and underwear in there or anything gross. But I’m excited to see how this goes. It said it would take 2 weeks for the bags to arrive, and then 2 weeks for the clothes to be processed. I’ll be sure to keep you posted. In the meantime, I’ll make sure I steam everything so it looks its best when it arrives. I used to wrap all my items in big sheets of plastic and roll them so they wouldn’t get wrinkled on the way. I’m not sure it’s worth the cost (and wastefulness) of the plastic this time, but it may be. It seems like they don’t steam the clothes once they arrive, so you have a better chance of seeing your stuff sell if you take pains to make it look good beforehand. I know that plus sizes are always good sellers, so I have high hopes my clothes will find homes after all. And hopefully I won’t need to cycle through so many clothes in the future.

Here is the sizeable discard pile:

First, we have the items I just didn’t feel good wearing as I was creating my 25-Item Plus-Size Capsule Wardrobe:

Next are the items from my original 25-Item Plus-Size Capsule Wardrobe that have gotten too big, worn out, or just stopped working for me:

Next are some pajamas that got too big and some workout pants that got worn out:

Here are the shoes that no longer work with my style, or that hurt my feet:

Here are some worn-out socks and underwear:

Then there are items I pulled from storage, but the sweater was worn out and the pants got too big:

And finally, the items I thrifted that got too big or stopped working for me:

The Mall and Morning Pages

August 12, 2019 by Kristin Purcell in Clothes, Mental Illness, Capsule Wardrobe

I went to the mall. I had to return the linen-blend pants from Old Navy, and thought I’d stop by Macy’s to see if they had any of my underwear. I’ve been wearing and loving the Warner’s “no muffin top” hipster underwear in cotton with a lace waistband. I already had 6 pairs in black, and today I got another black pair and two pairs of dark heather grey with black lace. This brings me up to 9 pairs altogether, which means I can finally get rid of my worn-out microfiber briefs that pull up to my chin when I’m being funny. All this mall-walking got me thinking about T-shirts and the long stretch of time before my smaller storage clothes fit. If I end up eliminating the 3X J. Crew T-shirts sometime soon (they really are too big), that will leave me with 7 tees. I’m also thinking of parting with my white ASOS T-shirt that was so hard-won- destroying the original, switching to a double-layer Gap Factory one, breaking down and rebuying the ASOS one. But you know, it’s never been the same as the first one, never been the same as the black and grey ones. It’s not as soft, it shrank up significantly in the wash, and it’s a bit stiff and short now. Every time I go to wear it, I end up taking it off and wearing something else. Leave it to me to order the identical T-shirt and have it be completely different. Maybe the single tees are different from the ones that come in the 3-pack? It’s a mystery. Regardless, now we’re down to 6 tees. As things have been getting too big and my wardrobe is whittling down, I’ve considered seeing just how far I can take this whole minimalism thing. 6 tees and 1 blouse, 2 jeans, 2 pants, and 1 skirt, 3 coats and 5 layers. Could I get by on this amount- 20 items? Would it even be a struggle? I think I’m going to hold out on buying anything else as far as my everyday wardrobe and see how it shakes out. I was deliberating my T-shirt options, noodling online, trying on various sizes at the mall (Why do LOFT and J. Crew not carry XXL in stores? Would that really be bad for business? I mean, LOFT goes so far as to carry plus sizes in store but no XXL. What’s going on there?). And I guess I’m still keeping thrifting in mind. But maybe I’m discovering another opportunity in all my clothes being too big. There’s the opportunity I recently found to stop looking in the mirror, but this could also be an opportunity for me to push my minimalist muscle.

There is another area of my wardrobe that may need some attention, and that’s my workout and pajama T-shirts. For summer, they’ve worked great- sleep in one, work out in it the next day. But come Fall (and our impending return to Germany) I’ll need to wear something warmer to work out in outside. I have a tight-fitting Under Armour base layer top, but that would need to go under my oversized T-shirts and therefore need to be washed quite frequently. I don’t think we’ll have access to a washer this time- the last time we stayed in this apartment we had to go to the laundromat, so there was a lot of hand washing in a bucket that I did not enjoy. I also own a water-resistant Under Armour hoodie that packs up pretty well, or I have my bulky fleece that I’ve been wearing for the last 40 pounds. Point being, I’m not sure if the T-shirt system will work in the colder months.

And do I just keep wearing the same workout/pajama T-shirts from 40 pounds ago? Do I wait the 4 months for the smaller storage options to fit? Or do I downsize now? I guess the minimalist in me says to stick it out- there’s nothing wrong with wearing oversized tees to work out or sleep in. The consumer in me wants new things! Pretty things in pretty colors! A reward for losing weight! Do I squelch those voices? Or should I channel them into thrifting?

I really go back and forth every day, focusing on the drama of my changing wardrobe instead of dealing with more difficult things. I know that deep down, I want to be more creative, I want to start writing music or poems or going through my older scraps of poems and trying to make something out of them. I got the book The Artist’s Way and have barely started reading it. I got stuck on this whole idea of morning pages: 3 pages, stream of consciousness, first thing every day to get your “artist brain” warmed up. But I just keep writing blogs about T-shirts in the afternoon instead. I’m afraid I’ll “use up” everything I’ve got if I do the morning pages. But maybe that thinking is part of the problem. Maybe there is not a limited well of creative output. Maybe I have more to say, more important things to say, than prattling on about my wardrobe. Maybe I’ve got more in me, and I need to clear the slate each day with the morning pages. It’s worth a shot.

It's Not Easy Being In-Between

August 06, 2019 by Kristin Purcell in Mental Illness, Clothes, Capsule Wardrobe

Well, I don’t know how this happened, but most of my clothes don’t fit. I started removing pants and shorts from my wardrobe because they were too big, and I got down to 3 pairs: a pair of grey flannel-type men’s pants that require a belt (not ideal for summer), a pair of black skinny jeans that are too dressy for everyday, and a pair of wide-leg, linen-blend, elastic-waist pants that I’m just wearing every day at this point. It’s the middle of summer, and they’re comfortable and cool. I tried to buy another similar pair from Old Navy, but they came in the mail and they just don’t work. The fabric is this heavy, textured stuff that doesn’t breathe at all- very weird for linen-blend pants. I also seem to fall somewhere in between a L and an XL in Old Navy sizing (I ordered both sizes of pants to try). The shorts I recently determined were too big are Old Navy XL, but my Old Navy L shorts in storage are way too small. Go figure. In any case, the linen pants are going back.

In my further editing down of my wardrobe, I also eliminated two black camisoles for being too big, hanging on to all 9 T-shirts, but I’m thinking some of them have reached that tipping point of being too big. I don’t know how it happens; one day something’s fine, and the next day it’s not. And so I’m sad to say that my beloved J. Crew T-shirts have crossed over. I’ve been contentedly wearing them, enjoying how lightweight and soft they are, even enjoying the oversized fit, and then today everything changed. I had one on as I tried out a pair of jeans from storage and it looked way too big. The shirts are a 3X, which I know is not my proper size anymore, but something about seeing them with fitted jeans made it impossible to go back to wearing them. I was fiddling around with my smaller clothes in storage, trying to come up with some more options for summer bottoms. I rather optimistically pulled out a pair of size 12 skinny jeans (I have 3 pairs; two are size 10, and then these ones are a 12). And they fit pretty well. Because they have a skinny ankle, they won’t work with my logger boots, but in this heat I’ve been wearing my Adidas sneakers more and more anyway and I think they’d look OK with the jeans. Then I pulled out a white midi skirt that stretches enough to fit, but I would have to shave my legs in order to feel comfortable wearing it (I’ve kind of been letting that slide). It would be good in the heat, work well with sneakers and an ASOS T-shirt, and still give me a look that fits my current aesthetic. We’ll see about the leg-shaving, but I did hang it in my closet for now. So that gives me two more casual summer bottoms to work with, which means I don’t have to hang out in my underwear waiting for the linen pants to be washed and dried.

So I’ve found a couple of awkward bits to tide me over while I’m at this weight (181.6 at my last weigh-in), but I can’t believe I just don’t have more options. I really thought I’d saved enough pieces to get through every phase of weight loss, but I guess I somehow skipped this part. Maybe I was just wearing the grey joggers as I was gaining the weight; I kind of remember them being too big and wearing them anyway. Those are currently on the outs, partly for being too big, partly because they’re so unflattering, and partly because they’re too hot for summer. For tops, my GAP Factory T-shirts (I have 4 of them) are fitting the best right now. They were salvaged from the donate pile a few months back after a change of heart. Maybe those are what I was wearing for tops as I was on the way up in weight? Maybe that was also a time when I just wasn’t leaving the house very much anyway. I had come home early from Germany, crashing hard from my Adderall losing its punch. I was doing some Ebay and then Skyping with Matt 87 hours a day, which means I did end up with plenty of pajama pants for this weight. They’re fairly useless in the heat right now, but they do fit me perfectly.

Speaking of crashing hard, I’m still having trouble with early evenings- those in-between hours after going to the cafe but before we eat dinner and watch a TV show. These crashes are really rough- yesterday I was even having some vaguely suicidal thoughts- and it feels like they’ll never end when I’m in the middle of them. I was trying to get some activities going for these times of day: meditation, walking, OA meetings, etc., but I’ve kind of lost my mojo in that department. I’m making a concerted effort to get to an OA meeting tonight, actually planning my whole day around it. Because it really does me no good to lie in the dark. I know this already. I’ve said so before, but it’s a really hard habit to break. What happens is I feel tired and like I deserve a rest, so I lie down, but I cannot rest. Thoughts of “how horrible my life is” start flooding in and I start ruminating: What could I have done differently in the past? What should I be doing now? Why am I not doing it? It’s too late for me to get anywhere with anything because I’m too old and too out of it. It’s the same old story every day. And then we have dinner and my mood improves, and I’m fun to be around. It’s just that in-between time that sucks. Because I’m feeling good earlier at the cafe too. (I hate the gym in the morning, but who doesn’t? It’s like brushing your teeth for an hour).

So tonight, I’ll try again. I’ll try to get ahead of that crash and have a place to go where I feel comfortable and focused. I’ve also started a meditation practice, sitting for 20 minutes at night. I kind of hate it- it’s also like brushing your teeth- but I’ve done it for about 10 days or so. The goal is 30 days, every day, but I screwed up and missed it yesterday. So it’s 29 days, and then that one day I missed it. Hey, I’m trying.

Do My Smaller Clothes Fit My New Style?

July 29, 2019 by Kristin Purcell in Clothes, Capsule Wardrobe

With only 23 items in my closet at this point, I’m wondering if it’s time to explore the storage bin again. The last time I opened it up was May 2nd, so it’s been well over two months and more than 10 pounds down. But before I dig into it, I thought I’d make an objective evaluation of whether or not those items will fit into my new, more masculine aesthetic. I did this for my current wardrobe and found it really interesting and helpful for choosing clothes going forward. I want to maintain my style as I continue to lose weight and not fall into the trap of wearing more revealing clothing “because I can.” I do not want my body size to dictate what I do or do not wear. To keep myself in check and stay true to my personal preferences, I rated each item on a scale of 1-10, 1 being the least desirable and 10 the most. The criteria I took into consideration are the same as when I looked at my current capsule:

Is this item objectifying? (Bad)
Is this item revealing? (Also bad)
Is this item feminine? (Sometimes bad)
Is this item infantilizing? (A hard no)
Do I like how this item looks? (Usually a good thing)
Would I feel comfortable in this item at a social occasion or in public in general? (Also good)
Does this attract the wrong kind of attention? (Hard to explain, but a bad thing)
Is there a context to consider? (What do I wear it with?)
Does this item look like it’s men’s? (Usually good)

Here’s the list and pics of items with their scores, from high to low, with some explanation in parentheses:

Blue wide leg pants 10 (loose, minimal, could be men’s)
Cream wide leg pants 10 (loose, minimal, could be men’s)
Camel cashmere cardigan 10 (loose, could be men’s)
Cowboy studded belt 10 (wide, real leather, large buckle, is actually men’s)
Black Ponte swing top 10 (boxy shape, thick material, minimal)
Navy Ponte swing top 10 (boxy shape, thick material, minimal)
Two black tuxedo joggers 10 (loose, menswear-inspired)
Black asymmetric sweater 10 (oversized, modern high neckline)
Grey zip-up cardigan 10 (structured shoulders, heavy knit)

Floral wedding kimono 9 (loose, heavy fabric, modest)
Navy blouson blouse 9 (loose, long sleeve, high neckline)
Black blouson blouse 9 (loose, long sleeve, high neckline)
White open cardigan 9 (long sleeve, loose)
Blush boxy sweater 9 (boxy shape, loose)
Black boxy sweater 9 (boxy shape in body, tight arms)
Two black scoop neck tees 9 (loose, feminine neckline)
Two white scoop neck tees 9 (loose, feminine neckline)
Floral print tunic 9 (long, loose, not too feminine floral)

Grey pointelle cardigan 8 (pointelle pattern, loose, long sleeve)
Leather black belt 8 (wide, real leather, large buckle)
Grey banded hem tee 8 (loose, feminine neckline)
Green banded hem tee 8 (loose, feminine neckline)
Two white ballet neck tees 8 (loose, feminine neckline)
Two light blue ballet neck tees 8 (loose, feminine neckline)

Black cropped swing raincoat 7 (loose, feminine shape, cropped, high neckline)
Navy tulip-hem blouse 7 (high neckline, revealing hem at back)
Pink cashmere sweater 7 (high neckline, long sleeves, feminine color)

White pencil skirt 6 (modest length, tight, can be worn with sneakers and oversized top)
Black skinny jeans (size 12) 6 (slouchy fit, black color gives them edge)
Silk feather-print tank 6 (loose, sleeveless, edgy print)
Black utility shorts 6 (fairly revealing and short, loose, utilitarian)
Navy utility shorts 6 (fairly revealing and short, loose, utilitarian)
Black pencil skirt 6 (modest length, tight, can be worn with loose top)
Black skinny jeans (size 14W) 6 (slouchy fit, black color gives them edge)

Long white parka 5 (puffy, distinct hourglass shape, high collar, longline)
Two pairs skinny jeans (size 10) 5 (tapered ankle is more feminine, slouchy fit)
One pair skinny jeans (size 12) 5 (tapered ankle is more feminine, slouchy fit)

White sheer hi-lo tunic 4 (sheer, floaty, swing shape, hi-lo hem, very feminine)
Black silky cami 4 (revealing, loose)
Striped silky cami 4 (revealing, loose)
Skinny braided belt 4 (skinny width is more feminine, flimsy weight)

Cotton A-line cami 3 (semi-sheer, revealing, feminine cut, loose)
Green linen skirt 3 (short, revealing, loose)
Two long sleeve stretchy tees 3 (tight, stretchy, clingy, high neckline)

I think the hard cutoff number for me is a 5; anything 4 or lower is probably a sign to let the item go. From there, I guess it’s up to my instinct, or whether practicality and thrift override aesthetic considerations. This means the discard pile consists of: 2 long sleeve stretchy tees, a green linen skirt, a cotton A-line cami, a skinny braided belt, a striped silky cami, a black silky cami, and a white sheer hi-lo tunic. I’m sad to part with the camis and the green skirt, so I am considering the context of these pieces: The skirt with sneakers is revealing but less traditionally feminine, and the revealing camis might be balanced out when worn with long linen pants. Some items that score higher but are still probably going to go include the pink cashmere sweater (it’s just too pink), the shorts (too revealing), and the long white parka (too hourglass-shaped). Skinny jeans in general are being reconsidered and I’m having difficulty scoring them. The black ones feel a bit edgier than the blue, but even the blue are kind of slouchy and certainly not skintight. I’ll have to wait until these things actually fit to see what I really think.

Does My Current Capsule Wardrobe Fit My New Style?

July 25, 2019 by Kristin Purcell in Clothes, Capsule Wardrobe

It occurred to me that I’ve never really assessed my current wardrobe in terms of my newer, more masculine style. So I thought I’d make an objective evaluation of whether or not my capsule wardrobe items really fit into my slightly tougher, somewhat masculine aesthetic. I rated each item on a scale of 1-10, 1 being the least desirable and 10 the most. The criteria I took into consideration were:

Is this item objectifying? (Bad)
Is this item revealing? (Also bad)
Is this item traditionally feminine? (Sometimes bad)
Is this item infantilizing? (A hard no)
Do I like how this item looks? (Usually a good thing)
Would I feel comfortable in this item at a social occasion or in public in general? (Also good)
Does this attract the wrong kind of attention? (Hard to explain, but a bad thing)
Is there a context to consider? (What do I wear it with?)

Scores for my current capsule wardrobe, from high to low, with a bit of explanation in parentheses:

Two Navy J. Crew tees 10 (Loose, higher neckline)
Three ASOS crewneck tees 10 (Loose, very high neckline)
Black oversized silky blouse 10 (Oversized, long)
Grey cashmere sweater 10 (Loose, high neckline)
Hoodie 10 (Oversized, is actually men’s)
Green corduroy shirt 10 (Oversized, could be men’s)
Black puffy parka 10 (Loose, could be men’s)
Black raincoat 10 (Loose, could be men’s)
Tan anorak jacket 10 (Loose, utilitarian, could be men’s)
Grey men’s pants 10 (Loose, are actually men’s)
Linen wide leg pants 10 (Loose, long)
Black V-neck sweater 9 (Slightly fitted, could be men’s)
Two scoop neck navy tees 8 (More feminine neckline, loose)
Two scoop neck black tees 8 (More feminine neckline, loose)
Oatmeal cotton sweater 8 (Long sleeve, loose, high neckline, little pointelle pattern at top)
Two black utility shorts 7 (Loose, fairly revealing, utilitarian, could be men’s)
Striped tunic 4 (Bold pattern, swing shape, drapey, feminine neckline)

Looking at these numbers, I realized that I haven’t worn the striped tunic since I put it into my capsule 6-7 months ago. It just attracts too much attention for me to feel comfortable wearing. While I might not mind someone noticing my boots and commenting on them, I just feel self-conscious when someone comments on this top. It’s the only thing in my current wardrobe to score below a 7, so I think it has to go. I also realized that I no longer have dressy black pants to wear for the unexpected special occasion, so I’m going to pull some size 14W black skinny jeans from storage and put them in my capsule. That still leaves me at 23 pieces, although the black jeans would score a 6, so are a bit less than ideal. But they’ll be fine with my black oversized blouse and heels should an occasion come up.

I also realized that one of the main criteria for scoring should be, “Could this item be (or is this item) men’s?” I didn’t set out to exclusively wear men’s clothing, though menswear is a part of my new aesthetic. But I still prefer certain shapes that are cut for women. Even though to look at my anorak jacket, you might think it was men’s, there is something about the shape of it which suits my body better than a true men’s jacket would. I find men’s tops to be too big in the shoulders and too tight in the waist. So while I may not like a tailored women’s hourglass-shaped jacket or top, I don’t like a men’s T-shirt either. Hence so many of my clothes still being women’s when I am blatantly seeking a more masculine look. My T-shirts tend to have scoop necks and a subtle feminine drape to them, maybe a little more fitted in the bust and more floaty in the belly. My coats are also tailored to a woman’s body despite appearing pretty androgynous. So the items which only scored 8s are still right up there in terms of my ideal, they just didn’t meet these particular criteria. A certain amount of femininity is something I still enjoy and look for in different pieces. I just really love men’s pants and boots.

Weight Change Capsule Wardrobe Update

July 24, 2019 by Kristin Purcell in Clothes, Food, Minimalism, Capsule Wardrobe

Since coming home from Germany and finding out my current weight, I’ve been reassessing my wardrobe and have decided some things will have to go. My blue men’s pants are officially way too big; even with a belt cinching them in, they look ridiculous. I’ve had a bit of a shift in how I see myself in my grey joggers. I no longer find them flattering, and I think part of the reason could be that they’re too big. Or else it’s because I’m wearing boots a lot and have gotten used to having some volume and weight at my feet and ankles. The way the joggers taper in at the ankle suddenly feels just not right, even when worn with my Adidas sneakers. This whole shift came from seeing myself in joggers in a shop window- I tend not to look at myself in the mirror before I leave the house, so I haven’t had an accurate view of them in a while. There are two pairs of those, so that puts me down 3 pairs of pants. I’m also surrendering my black Ann Taylor trousers that won’t stay up anymore, so it’s a total of 4 pairs altogether.

I still have my wide-leg linen pants, my grey men’s pants (which now require a belt) and two pairs of clearly-too-big black shorts. I’ve been trying to ride out the summer with them because it’s hard to find shorts I like when thrifting and it doesn’t seem worth buying new shorts when they probably won’t fit next year anyway. But then I was feeling desperate with only 2 pairs of pants to wear, one of which doesn’t work so well on hot days. So I broke down today and ordered a pair of linen blend pants from Old Navy. I’m wearing my current linen-blend pants almost every day, definitely favoring them over the shorts, even on the hottest days. I think in general I just like to feel more covered when I’m sweating, like there’s some fabric between me and public seating. So as long as the new pants fit, the shorts will be going soon.

As far as tops, my T-shirts are still going strong with one exception. My light blue DIY-ed Hanes tee is bothering me, and it’s definitely the V-neck. For some reason V-necks look terrible on me, so this purchase was a bit outside the norm. I liked that I found it at the thrift store (sustainability-wise), and then I liked the color of it after I bleached it, but now I can’t unsee the glaring V-neck. In terms of other tops, I put on one of my silky black camisoles today, hoping to wear it out to the cafe. It looked OK at first with a bralette underneath, but after packing my bag and putting sunblock on, the bralette had inched its way down and created a most unflattering “anti-cleavage” look. If the camisole fit me better, I think it would cover my chest enough that this wouldn’t be a problem. But if I’m honest with myself, the camis are officially too big as well. I’m down to 9 T-shirts, one silky blouse, and one striped tunic for tops. My 3 sweaters and 5 layers are all still good; I like oversized things anyway, so none of my jackets bother me, my hoodie and corduroy shirt included.

I’m still wearing the same pajamas and workout clothes, though my T-shirts are getting kind of wide at the neck- it’s only outside or at the gym that I notice it, so no one cares, myself included. I did pull out from storage a couple of sports bras that just about fit now, so that helps in terms of laundry going from 2 to 4 sports bras. And I find myself reaching for the black cotton underwear from storage (which got pulled out during the lost luggage crisis) over my old microfiber briefs. I only have 6 pairs of the cotton ones, so I’ll have to hang onto some old ones for backup- probably the 3 black ones. One advantage of the cotton underwear is that it’s not high-waisted, so it eliminates the sliding issue I was having with my Under Armour leggings. The leggings were falling down with the high-waisted, slippery, microfiber underwear underneath, but now they’re fine.

But as far as my capsule, I’m down to 23 items for the year. This is certainly no emergency for me- I have plenty of tops and just enough bottoms to get by (the two pairs of shorts soon to be replaced by the linen-blend pants). I’m just disappointed I won’t have my camisoles for the summer, and sad to let go of the pivotal blue men’s pants. They really changed my view of myself and my style and that was a significant moment. They inspired the purchase of boots and Adidas sneakers and a men’s leather belt, not to mention my current grey men’s pants. I’m starting to wonder how far this shift in style will go. I’m not looking to switch over to completely wearing men’s clothing. I still like certain women’s styles, especially in tops and jackets, because they fit me better. I’ve never found button-down Oxford shirts or men’s tees flattering on me, so I don’t see those coming into the mix. But I would like to explore more interesting shapes in women’s clothing- more modern, minimal pieces that don’t look traditionally feminine or masculine. Something different.

Seasonal Capsules and Winter Accessories

June 25, 2019 by Kristin Purcell in Clothes, Minimalism, Capsule Wardrobe

There seems to be a great divide when it comes to seasonal capsule wardrobes. Some people think storing away out-of-season clothing is a great idea, inherent to the capsule wardrobe concept. But devout followers of Marie Kondo and her The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up as well as many minimalists out there insist that it’s best to keep everything out all year. I definitely see the benefits and drawbacks of both ideas, and while I’ve always kept everything out all year, I’ve been thinking about experimenting with the seasonal storage approach. Marie Kondo says in her books that it’s unnecessary to store things away because when you have the right amount of clothing, you don’t need extra storage. I’d agree with this, and add that storing things away can lead to forgetting what you have, and then buying things you don’t need- especially when the season starts to change and you’re bombarded with summer sales announcements in your inbox. But I guess the main reason I’ve always done it this way is that I just like to know where every item I own is at all times. Maybe a bit obsessive, but that’s just how my brain works.

Now there are loads of people doing the seasonal capsule wardrobe instead of just a minimal wardrobe. Caroline Joy of the blog Un-fancy was one of the pioneers of the seasonal capsule concept that most people are familiar with online. She recommends a capsule of 37 pieces every 3 months, storing out-of-season clothing away for the rest of the year. But she also suggests a strict no-shopping policy for the 3 months of each season. Her idea is to only use the last 2 weeks of the season to shop for the following season, having assessed what you already have in storage. This sounds like a reasonable and deliberate approach that allows you to not stare at your bulky puffer coat every day of a blisteringly hot summer. I think this system also helps you touch base with your wardrobe and declutter as necessary, maybe even clearing things out at the end of each season when you’re most familiar with what worked and what didn’t. One other benefit to the seasonal storage idea is mentioned by Jennifer L. Scott, who introduced the Ten-Item Wardrobe in her book, Lessons from Madame Chic. She suggests that switching items out each season can make you feel like you’ve just gone shopping. I love this idea- seeing your seasonal items with fresh eyes could absolutely help with those “summer sale” urges. Why buy new items when you’ve just been reunited with an old favorite?

For the time being, I’m storing out-of-season sweaters and hats and gloves in my chest of drawers, where there’s plenty of room to do so. And so, for the final installment of my capsule wardrobe/minimalist closet inventory, here are my 8 winter accessories:

First are the 4 items for everyday wear:

1 grey cotton slouchy beanie

1 grey wool oversized beanie

1 blue velvet 1920s style flower hat

1 pair tan leather gloves (Lands’ End)

And then 4 more items for cold-weather exercise:

1 Under Armor striped grey and turquoise beanie

1 Old Navy grey fleece scarf

1 pair black Under Armor liner gloves

1 pair grey Under Armour flap mittens

(The scarves are in their own category, but to reiterate, I have 2 winter scarves: an oversized cashmere grey cable knit scarf and a blush Calvin Klein logo scarf.)

I bought the grey cotton slouchy beanie this year, but I’m afraid it’s been a mild failure. I was trying to replace the hand-knit wool beanie due to incessant fuzziness, but that’s proved difficult. I finally settled on the cotton one from TJ Maxx, but it’s just not warm enough, so now I have both. My other strategy with the wool hat’s fuzziness was to have at it with a depiller comb. Note to self: this does not work on chunky knits. In fact, it makes it worse. So then I carefully skimmed over it with my husband’s electric clippers. This gave acceptable results, so I ended up keeping the hat, but it seemed premature to get rid of the cotton one. The blue velvet hat is from a street vendor in Times Square. It’s my fancy winter hat. The leather gloves were a gift from my husband and have those fingertips where you can use your phone with your gloves on. I hesitated to wear them much this year out of fear of losing them, which is ridiculous. The running hat and scarf are both warm and easy to throw in the wash. The liner gloves go under the flap mittens, so you can just slip your fingers out of the flaps to change songs mid-run. I’m packing all these into the bottom drawer with the sweaters for now. We’ll see if I feel like I just went shopping when I pull them out next year.

What Do Minimalists Wear To Go Swimming?

June 22, 2019 by Kristin Purcell in Clothes, Food, Mental Illness, Capsule Wardrobe

Maybe they just don’t go swimming? Or maybe they go naked or in their underwear? It’s a mystery to me. Personally, I do own swimwear. I guess I’d consider it a tiny seasonal capsule: a two-piece bathing suit, rash guard shorts and top, and neoprene swim shoes. This little ensemble was acquired last year when my husband and I were attempting to take a mini vacation. My parents have a little cottage in Cape Cod, and we’ve twice now attempted to take some time off there. The first time, we had an Ebay mishap and had to drive home (about an hour and a half) in order to ship a package in time. We returned to the cottage, but threw in the towel (so to speak) after another day or two. At the time I was feeling pretty bad, having akathisia and demanding of my husband a constant card game or round of scrabble. I was incapable of relaxing. Our second attempt was a little better. We did actually make it to the beach two or three times- and once we actually swam.

For this much-planned-for-but-barely-achieved swimming, I wore my bathing suit: pretty standard bikini bottoms with a folder waistband and a fitted camisole top with a flowy crochet overlay, all in navy blue. I also wore the swim shoes (there are lots of rocks and crabs at the Cape). On dry land, I wore the black rash guards over the top, both for modesty and for sun protection. The rash guards consist of a stretchy short-sleeve top, bought in way too large a size so it would be loose, and a pair of fitted mid-thigh shorts. I went through a lot when shopping for these items, ordering different sizes, returning them, finally settling on a suit from Amazon in a 2X. The top fits well and doesn’t ride up or anything, but the bottoms are designed for wider hips than mine. This just means the seat bags out a little bit unless I jack them up really high (not a good look for me). I tried and returned a blouson top and shorts set from Walmart which was really cute, but had a serious foam-cup shelf bra inside it, which I suspected would float even when I didn’t. Originally, I was trying to keep it simple and just go with the rash guards as my bathing suit, but I didn’t want a tight top which would roll up when I moved, and the loose top has the same issues with the foam bra top- it floats. In any case, I’m happy to see that the world of swimwear is finally catching on to the idea that not everyone wants to be wearing what looks like underwear at the beach. There are all kinds of swim shorts, skirts, dresses, and different styles of tops out there to choose from, in many different sizes. Plenty of people, plus-sized and straight-sized alike, love the traditional underwear-type looks and that’s all well and good. But for me, it never felt right. I mean, post-childhood, I wouldn’t even wear shorts until a couple years ago.

I’ve tried, over the past several years, to figure out the swimwear conundrum - how do I look like myself and still get to go swimming? I’ve gone through various styles of suit, some traditional, some less so. My last suit was just a stretchy tank and running shorts (with the little underwear inside) bought in haste from a Target in Virginia, where Matt was working, and where our building had a pool and hot tub. This worked well for that trip, but the chlorine pretty much destroyed the fabrics by the time we left. Before that, there was a black deep V-neck one-piece suit from the Gap. I got it on clearance and wore it in our building’s pool in Palm Beach, again where Matt was working. I never felt like it looked very good, at least not how I’d imagined it would, and so at some point it disappeared. Before that, I do recall a vintage-look suit from TJ Maxx in a deep teal. It had ruching throughout, so it masked my rolls of flesh and made me feel less exposed. That one didn’t hold up to the elements for very long, either, so it, too, disappeared. The last time before that that I remember owning a suit was in college when I cut a lavender leotard in half at the waist and wore that to the beach. And then there were my high school years: my freshman year, my family went to Mexico for a week, and I wore one of my bikinis from my early adolescence. I remember feeling like I was spilling out of it since my weight had increased a bit over the years, and I also remember bingeing on candy bars from the hotel gift shop alone in our room while everyone else was at the beach. The bikini was one of a couple suits that I wore when I was 10-12 years old. I’d lost a significant amount of weight since my chubby childhood, starting to diet and count calories when I was 9. Wearing a bikini seemed like a natural benefit to being thin. It never occurred to me that I might not want to show so much skin. So I acted like the people in the Dexatrim and Slim-fast ads on TV- I lost the weight and stripped down to my underwear. Wasn’t that the whole idea?

I’ve promised myself that I won’t do that again. I won’t expose myself simply because I’m thin. I truly believe that part of the impetus for my weight gain has been my subconscious’s attempt to protect me from all that: If I stay fat, then no one gets to look at me in my underwear. But now being fat and exposing your body aren’t mutually exclusive. Plenty of people love the more body-positive movement in swimwear, lingerie, and sexy clothes. But I’ve realized that fat or thin, I just like to be covered. I don’t like to be objectified or on display for everyone to see. Sure, I have bathing suit fantasies of being thin and on some tropical beach somewhere, but in reality, I need to feel clothed in order to feel like a person.