Four Perfectly Good Reasons To Gain Weight
Despite my great desire to be thin, I have struggled with my weight my entire life. It’s easy to blame the obvious reasons for weight gain: eating too much, exercising too little, etc. But I think it’s about time we got to the heart of the matter: the fact that there are legitimate reasons, especially for women, to gain weight. Some of these reasons are merely perceived while others are very real. I want to uncover these beliefs that tell us there are actual advantages to gaining weight.
1. People take you more seriously. Whether in the office or the dating scene, it is an unfortunate reality that being thin can cause you to be taken less seriously. People often objectify thin women, seeing them as merely nice to look at, as opposed to thinking, feeling human beings. Gaining weight can make those same people pay more attention to what comes out of your mouth than what you look like in a skirt. Potential suitors might tend to be less superficial and more concerned with the person you are. While on the surface it may seem that life is easier for thin people, being taken seriously may, in fact, be a struggle for them. This can lead to the subconscious belief in us that being heavier would remedy the problem. Such a belief is enough to sabotage your health and fitness goals and lead to weight gain.
2. You think you’re less likely to be raped. Whether or not this belief is actually true (I can’t find any relevant statistics online), this is actually a very common belief in women, whether conscious or subconscious. There is a great deal of research and academic writing on the association between obesity and childhood sexual abuse. Apparently becoming overweight is a disturbingly frequent response to sexual trauma. And while I doubt that gaining weight offers any real protection from rape or sexual assault, it is the underlying belief that it does that matters here. This belief alone can lead to weight gain.
3. Eating is your only source of comfort. There are times in most of our lives where overeating is the only thing we can do to cope with difficulty. The term “emotional eating” is practically mainstream (thanks, Oprah), and the behavior makes perfect sense. Whether you’re lonely, grieving, angry, or simply stressed out, food can be a great comfort. Not only does it provide distraction from our problems, but it provides a warm pressure in your belly that can further relieve the physical inner turmoil of negative emotions. Making a habit of turning to food for comfort can lead to overeating and weight gain, whether you consciously want it or not.
4. Weight drama is a great distraction. Going up and down the scale, taking on new extreme diets, cycling through different sizes of clothes, arranging your life around your diet and gym schedule- any one of these things would be a great distraction from real life. And when life is difficult or complicated, weight drama can be a welcome distraction from problems that can’t be solved. We are often baffled by how we can be sailing along on our latest diet when all of a sudden it goes out the window for no good reason. But the drama of our weight shooting back up the scale keeps us focused on our diet and distracted from everything else. It maintains the fantasy that losing weight is our only problem, and if it were solved, everything would be great. And when times are hard, keeping up this back and forth can actually be a welcome relief.
It may seem obvious to most of us that we want to be thin, that there is nothing good about weight gain, and that losing weight is the answer to all our problems. But it is important to keep in mind the potential benefits that weight gain can afford us. Recognizing and facing our underlying beliefs about weight can stop them from having power over us and help us resolve our issues with food. While I myself am attempting to lose weight for what seems like the millionth time, I am also trying to address my beliefs about body size and find alternative ways of taking care of myself. I am trying to assert myself, protect myself, comfort myself, and face my problems without using food to do it. I hope I can learn to speak for myself rather than have my weight do it for me.